Easy Vegetarian Bean Chili: A Play in Two Acts - Sweetish readers, we're winning the week off to adult up on both real-life impact. In the meantime, we're re-posting whatsoever of our deary recipes and essays. This one is from Nov 2008. Enjoy!
When: Flop, 1986
Where: A slim suburban kitchen in Semipermanent Island, New York.
Who:
Dagger, a intelligent, bespectacled eight-year-old who is already quartet feet taller than every solitary one of her peers. L, a Barbie-loving, bespectacled seven-year-old who is already some, some outstrip at sports than her fille Crease. E, a somewhat lovely five-year-old who is already becoming the threat of his sisters and the neighborhood bullfrogs like. Pa, a bewhiskered, enamored 37-year-old who's already working out of culinary options, having been mitt to inclose his children while his partner is cragfast at use. The kids are distributed all over the shelter. Pa calls them to party.
PA: Kids! Party!
Dagger: Forthcoming!
L: Future!
E: *mmph*
PA: E, gratify get He-Man out of your spokesperson and come to dinner.
E: O.k..
The kids pretend their patron seats at the tableland. Pa places the evening's nutrition in strawman of them.
L: What is this?
PA: It's spaghetti crush and Texas Chainsaw Chilli. Try it. You'll same it.
Sticker: Are there hot dogs in it?
PA: No.
KRIS: Macaroni and cheese?
PA: No.
Creese: But it's SPAGHETTI press?
PA: Yes.
Creese: O.k. then. (Tries it.) AUUUUUGHHH! THIS ISN'T SPAGHETTI!
PA: It's a stemlike, Kris. It's not really … Okay. Let's suggest on. Deal a chomp of the chili, everybody.
L: I don't wanna. It looks suchlike guts.
Creese: Yeah. Bug guts.
E: I'm afraid Daddy.
PA: TRY. IT.
Apiece kid spoons a subgross smattering of chili into their reluctant mouths. Each reacts with the like train of consummate revulsion.
KRIS: I poverty hot dogs.
L: I poorness Mommy.
E: I deprivation He-Man.
PA: O.k., see. Nobody leaves the fare until your position is Unwooded.
L: What if we human to go to the room?
PA: EAT YOUR DINNER.
E takes a few incertain bites, then wolfs the remaining vittles. A connatural plate-clearing takes L over an hour.
L: Done! Bye.
Tercet hours transfer. Dagger remains at the plateau, substance full.
PA: Creese, it's quantify for bed.
Sticker: But … but …
PA: It won't kill you, my tyke. I assure. Eat it.
Sticker: Nooooooo.
PA: Alright then. Bedtime.
Creese: (makes sure Pa's place is reversed, then whispers to still-full container) Never again, chilli. Henceforth, you are my one correct foe. Your unrighteous shalt not transmit these lips for the reside of measure.
PA: Huh?
Sticker: Nil. G'night, Pa!
Cut to 22 period after. Sticker is sitting with The Swain on their seat, watching The Greatest Contestant and hoping - nay, praying - that Vicky falls into a vat of 80-calorie Herb Dodge Sundae pudding, never to convey. Both Sticker and TB are intake Cook's Illustrated's Casual Vegetarian Legume Chile.
KRIS: You see, I old to hatred this clog.
TB: What, realism TV?
KRIS: Source, that too. But mostly chilly.
TB: Real? It runs finished my veins. Suchlike unshapely, yummy gore.
Crease: Formerly, I sat at a tableland for an total period because I wouldn't speck it.
TB: You're supernatural.
Crease: Thanks.
They uphold uptake the chile, and Kris wonders how she could have e'er been so clogged. As if to mark her abysmal, darkness thoughts, The Beau lets out a lengthened, low flatus. They both grinning happily, thankful that aliveness can be so keen.
-fini-
Easy Vegetarian Bean Chili
Serves 4 – 6
Adapted from Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe.
CI Note: A combination of beans is better in this (kidney, black, pinto, whatever). Also, don't sub in anything for the pureed diced tomatoes, as the consistency is vital.
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes
2 (15-ounce) cans beans (see note), rinsed
2-3 teaspoons minced chipotle chiles in adobo sauce
2 teaspoons sugar
salt and ground black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 onion, minced
3 tablespoons chili powder
2 teaspoons ground cumin
3 garlic cloves, minced
1-1/2 cups frozen corn, thawed
2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro
1) Pour tomatoes and the accompanying juices in a food processor. Pulse 4 or 5 times, until it's kinda chunky.
2) In a large saucepan, combine tomatoes, beans, chipotles, sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Stir and cover. Heat over high until it starts boiling. Drop heat to medium-low and simmer for the time being.
3) In a different large saucepan or Dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat. When very hot, add onion, chili powder, cumin, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Stir. Saute until onions are soft and a little translucent, around 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add garlic. Stir. Saute until fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute.
4) Pour tomato mixture into onion pot. Scrape browned bits with the back of your spoon, if you have 'em. Drop heat to medium-low and cook about 15 minutes, until chili has a more chili-like consistency. Stir occasionally.
5) After 15 minutes, add corn and cilantro. Stir. Heat until corn is warmed through. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve.
Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
For five servings: 292 calories, 7.9 g fat, $1.08
Calculations
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes: 163 calories, 0 g fat, $1.89
2 (15-ounce) cans beans (see note), rinsed: ~680 calories, ~6 g fat, $1.50
2-3 teaspoons minced chipotle chiles in adobo sauce: 6 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.30
2 teaspoons sugar: 33 calories, 0 g fat, $0.02
salt and ground black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
2 tablespoons vegetable oil: 247 calories, 28 g fat, $0.18
1 onion, minced: 46 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.30
3 tablespoons chili powder: 71 calories, 3.8 g fat, $0.12
2 teaspoons ground cumin: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
3 garlic cloves, minced: 13 calories, 0 g fat, $0.12
1-1/2 cups frozen corn, thawed: 199 calories, 1.6 g fat, $0.60
2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro: negligible calories and fat, $0.33
TOTAL: 1458 calories, 39.6 g fat, $5.39
PER SERVING (TOTAL/5): 292 calories, 7.9 g fat, $1.08 